Funeral

Hi my name is Myasia I lost my grandma 2 weeks ago are relationship was complicated terrible childhood but I had good memories with her also my mom died 2 years prior so just having it back to back made me sad and feel alone regardless I don’t have much family and I currently stay:live with my bf and he didn’t like my grandma for how she treated me but he told me how he would have to see if we can go because he didn’t know if the new job he was trying to get would make him work that day or something so I’m like ok I found out I can take three days off I was off two days so I informed him of the five days I can have to spend time and just grieve with my family he didn’t let me know/know from his job until the 29 the funeral was today March 2 but I’m like wow that sucks so  he was supposed to do things this week or made promised didn’t do any of them said he was gonna get me edibles to ease the pain but that didn’t happen we didn’t do pretty much a lot of things that he promised this week he said oh he wasn’t feeling well/ feeing Macy and was tired and that he would deal with the consequences tomorrow but I’m just more than upset I have family members who are upset with me because I missed the funeral I’m upset to it’s not like I can turn back time to do it that was my last chance to s see her and I just idk I’m feeling hate or something close to it that he told me how he couldn’t do it or how we couldn’t go b cause of the job ( keep in mind we did just move so he needed a job because he had ti wuit the other one due to use moving but just upset like the reason why we couldn’t go didn’t even happen so seeing my family members boy upset with me asking me why I couldn’t go etc and he’s just been here with me all weekend feels like a slap to the face he apologized but idk