Hug

You deserve hugs. Hugs are healthy and everybody likes hugs. Are you saying that she is your girlfriend but She refuses to hug you? That is very confusing. Has she been traumatized In the past so She has boundaries of never touching people? Or she lives very far away?

I have had a long distance relationship before. It was worth it because her heart was so good. Sometimes it would be half of a year Between hugs, But it was worth it Because she made me Feel loved on the inside, And that is so rare.

Let yourself relax and enjoy a hug from a friend Or relative, Those hugs feel really good too.

@JosephMilad2746

I am sorry, but there are so many questions coming to my mind after reading your message. Like: do you accept giving yourself the right to feel happy? Or: how do you feel with your important physical and emotional need to be not met? Or: how would you like to balance the equal importance of your "positive need" (to be hugged) and your girlfriend's "negative need" (to be NOT hugged)?

I am not expected to give you any specific advice. But I can share my own experience: I believe that other people are not to heal our wounds. Basically, we are responsible for healing ourselves. But it's good when our closest ones are supportive in that. And I believe it's never good if they are making our old wounds any deeper.

For me hugging, kissing, cuddling or any other physical touch are very important. They are the border between the relationship being "real" or "non-existent". Therefore, whenever someone I am starting to see says she prefers no hugging, I know she's someone definitely not for me...

There is a nice sentence I've read in the ACA (Adult Children Anonymous) texts, starting with something like: "I deserve all the good things I didn't have..."