I Haven’t Left My House For 3 Months…….Please Help Me!!!

I have been struggling with what I consider to be depressive type symptoms. And I have not left my house for 3 months, other than to walk down to the mailbox, a few times. So I haven’t driven my car for the same amount of time. And I don’t know how to break the cycle. As I am always too exhausted to go anywhere. I struggle with sleep issues, but am afraid to take sleeping pills and many over the counter sleep aids have not worked for me. Abut I have other reasons why I don’t leave the house. I don’t sleep and eat when I should and I lead a completely sedentary lifestyle, as I spend most of my time in bed, or sitting down. So I don’t get any exercise other than walking up and down the stairs of my house to go downstairs to the kitchen, etc. So I worry that my immune system will not be good enough to keep me from catching something, if I am around too many people. And there are a lot of things that go around this time of year.

I haven’t lead a normal lifestyle for about 5.5 years and though I was already going in this direction, about 6 months, before the pandemic, it got much worse during and after the pandemic. And I have not yet gotten back to a normal way of life.

But the hardest thing I am struggling with is that when I get upset about something, or my significant other and I have an argument, I can’t seem to do the things I need to do for myself and I immobilize. I don’t keep up with my hygiene, I only shower about once a week and I don’t go through my bedtime routine, or sleep and eat when I should. And the worst part is that I feel like I can’t turn to my friends for support, because when I have, they either don’t reply to my texts about it, or I feel like they don’t understand. And I feel like some of them have judged me for it. And I don’t think my therapist has the right skill sets, or life experience, to really help me in the ways that I need help. And although I can talk to my significant other about most of this, he can’t always help, because most of what I am dealing with is because of my stress about our relationship. So I feel like I am struggling without any real help from anyone.

I can’t deal with the way I am living this lifestyle and although I have made a lot of progress, off and on, for about the last year, I have not been able to break the cycle and get back to a normal way of life. I am terrified that I am wasting time, as most of the time, I don’t even have the motivation of energy to work on my goals. And I am so addicted to the internet, that all I do is stream videos, tv, movies, or research things. I order most of my groceries online and have them delivered to my house, because I’m too exhausted to go to the store. And I can’t get any dishes or housework done, other than doing some occasional loads of laundry.

I can’t take what I’m going through anymore, but how do I break the cycle, when I can’t even do what I need to do for myself right now?

Any words of advice would be greatly appreciated!