I am more anxious than depressed
Hi,
I feel like everyone has a little bit of depression ever so often and some have more than others.
I feel depressed at times when I think of all the sad things in my life/ in the world and when all these negative thoughts come to mind about myself. The negative thoughts happen mostly when I am very tired of feeling physical pain for so long. I always feel unhappy even when I don’t show it. I feel like I shouldn’t be on this earth and wish the body I am in would naturally stop functioning, so I can move on to be a guardian angel in heaven.
Hello
Thank you for reaching out. Negative thoughts can be really draining. It must have been very tough to endure physical pain for so long in silence. May I know what type of physical pain do you have? You have been fighting this inner demon for quite a long time so I am hoping to send compassion and strength to your way. Are you able to get painkillers or healthy distraction that may help you feel a little better at times?
My whole body is very sensitive. I get heartburn very easily/ acid reflux that I have to take two different types of acid reducers (one in the morning and one at night). I have had H-pylori and think I still have it. I was diagnosed with endometriosis since year 2007. I have nerves that act up so often especially in my left ankle/ foot, shoulders/ neck, bladder hurts sometimes because of the damage the endometriosis has cause, and the back of my pelvic area hurts at times when trying to sleep that continues to hurt for a little bit after I do get out of bed. I also get headaches that I finally realize they most be migraines a few times each year.
I do take extra strength Tylenol at least twice a day and sometimes more. When I feel a migraine coming on I take at least 1 Advil Migraine pill.
Physical pain is so frustrating that it gets to my emotions and then I feel so exhausted between dealing with both.
It sounds like you have a lot of illness to deal with and you are always in a lot of pain. Acid reflux is very stressful to go through. Chronic endometriosis is excruciating.
It’s concerning that endometriosis can lead to muscle pain throughout and impact your quality of sleep. I can only imagine how frustrating getting frequent insomnia from pain is.
I encourage you to be gentle to your body and pace yourself especially as it is sensitive and seems inflammatory. Sometimes that may mean taking much needed breaks from your routine when you feel a lot of pain to rest, and increasing dosage of painkillers under supervision of a medical doctor. Also do you have goals/a sense of purpose in life? I think having goals can be really uplifting when life seems bleak. Take care
I use to create random goals for myself such as make so many things out of one cookbook. I am currently finding it hard to find purpose of my life and not wanting to set goals ever since my cat (my only child) passed away last November very unexpectedly after finding out her health was declining a few months before that.
I have gotten 2 new kitties to share custody with my parents and I plan on throwing an Autumn party to try to help distract my mind since a year is coming up since her passing.
Sending my condolences to your cat. It is understandable your cat meant a lot to you and when it passed away it is like love nowhere to go. It’s really good to take your time to heal.
Ooo an autumn party is exciting. Kittens are adorable, aren’t they? I am so happy to hear that you have something to enjoy and look forward to.