I'm Alive.

I'm alive. It's been a while since I've been on this platform. I wish I could've been online more. This summer was great. Lots of things happened. But nothings ever perfect. I'm a Junior now, and life is starting to truly begin. I have a job. I can drive. Sex, drugs, anger, depression, life just changes so fast. And I'm scared. I'm scared to leave it all behind when I get older. I'm scared I'll lose everyone I know. I'm scared I'll lose it all again. Recently, I have been suffering from an addiction to nicotine and weed. Just straight up honesty. I've been suffering from thoughts that tell me to end myself daily all of the time. And the scariest part about it is that if I had a gun, it would've been over a long time ago. I need help. I'm not in a crisis, and I obviously don't have access to a gun, but I want out. Since when did life become this way? I remember when I was young and I didn't have to worry about all of this. Life was fun. I could have fun simply by creating a random game with my friends. But now it's all about social medias, drugs, sex, etc. and its honestly not fun. It never is. A high only lasts so long. Memories last forever. But in this world? It seems like everyone I know has forgotten that. If you read this far thank you, and if you have any tips to help me in any way I would love to hear them. I want to stop my addictions, and I want to be happy. But it's hard. And I need a little more support this time.