I'm feeling hurt and confused at the same time

For ages i try to refuse the fact that i'm in a depresion or something is not alright but i never thought i will end up in a point where i feel like i wanna stay awake nights, not eating and not even drink water so much just to hope one day my body is just gonna give up and just collapse but at least thinking is not suicidal... i never had a strong relationship with my father we always arguing for *** if i don't do things like him is not ok he look at me like a disapoiment my mom isn't the best atp. The only thing that is still keep me alife is the thought that someday is gonna be better... someday i just gonna complete my goals and prove everyone wrong but slowly i start falling more deeper in this depresion, my parents don't support me becauss they thing i have to take the save root and i'm in a stage where i just wanna sleep and never wake up... i'm crazy for thinking like that, i exagerated, i'm a dissapoiment?