I’m not sure what to do

Hi I uh don’t know where to go in life. I’m about to graduate but so much is out of my hands

i live with my moms side of the family who are toxic to me. I always complaining about me and my habits. They’re rude to me and get on my case when others do the same things I do. They make fun of my issues and it’s not uncommon for us to have one or two days every like two weeks where we don’t get anything to eat because someone decides they don’t want to cook. My mom thinks my depression is a joke and scoffed when I said I wanted to do a program at the hospital, and my grandmother thinks I’m faking it. I’m stuck on some long waiting list but when my brother is on a waiting list my mom calls and calls and persist for her favorite clear favorite who actively hits his teachers but gets little to no punishments.

my girlfriend has disappeared for 42 days, and this issue started 46 days ago. She’s only a mental break but it’s so hard being on my own in this time of my life especially because my best friend likes me and I don’t have the heart to tell them I’m still waiting when everyone advised me to leave my girlfriend but I just want to stay with her

My friends aren’t really friends and suggest horrible things about me and say the most horrible things and I can’t escape them because they’re in every single class I have.

im also very s*xualized Ed everywhere I go which is rare and difficult for a male to go through

I really don’t know what to do in my life and I just want someone to talk with.