I’m tired

I have fought all my life dealing with past traumas and still standing with kindness and living the life. Choosing to be happy. But I am tired now. I am soon to be 37 and my only hope to have a family and despite of knowing this my boyfriend isn’t taking any step. I understand he needs time but I don’t have much time left. I was a happy person but past one month I am crying everyday and it’s just increasing more and more . I feel I am broken and I don’t have more energy to fight this world. I feel like giving up . I can’t take more pain alone. I feel so lonely and even my family and my boyfriend is there in my life but I want to settle down and have a family and this need and not getting it is killing me inside each second so much that sometimes I feel why god gave me this life to suffer