I need help with reaching out
I really need advice on how to reach out to my parents and friends and tell them about how I’m feeling.
I am under the age of 18 and I am 99% sure that I have smiling depression. Smiling depression is when you have depression, but you mask it around others. You still do every day things and are a very social person, but it’s all a lie and you actually feel horrible inside.
Everyday, I either feel numb, frustratingly sad, or really angry, there aren’t any other emotions. Yet when I’m around others, I can’t help but try to cover up my pain with a smile or a joke. I hate myself every single time I do it, but I can’t stop. I also get very good grades in school, not because I like doing it, but because I feel this pressure to be perfect and great at everything.
At first, the depression wasn’t that bad, but then I stopped eating and I started sleeping much longer. Then I stopped enjoying things that usually made me happy. I used to non-stop crochet and read, but now all I can manage to do is lay in bed and listen to music or scroll.
The thing is, no one can tell that I feel this way because I cover it up. I want to be able to come out and tell my parents and friends what I am feeling, I want to get help for this, but I just don’t know how.
I’m scared that my parents will be disappointed in me and that my friends won’t understand.
Does anyone have any advice on how I can tell someone about this? I really need the help, thanks.
It can be normal to some to hide what we are really feeling and put on a mask because of people's expectations.
I do it myself but it can be overwhelming. You have options, you could show them this post. Find a quiet time to say, I would really like your uninterrupted attention, I have something difficult and important to share..
You could write a letter and hand it over to friends and family, if that's easier and that way, you will cover everything and it may or may not be easier.
Hopefully you will get the care and concern that you need, it might take some people to digest the news first because they are used to seeing you a certain way.
You might just have to be patient with them :)
Thank you so much for the advice, I’m going to try the letter idea. Wish me luck!
@adventurousTortoise222 Fingers crossed :)
Fingers crossed 🙂
Maybe you can let us know how it went too
Update:
I still haven’t been able to tell my parents. I wrote a letter but it just doesn’t sound right. And whenever I think about giving it to them, something happens and it just feels rude to put more on their plate. I don’t know how to get the courage to tell someone. I just don’t know what to do anymore.
I feel like I let myself down. I feel like I let down my younger self. She used to be so happy and ready to anything. If she had known what I’ve become, she would be disappointed in me. I want to be strong for her, but I just don’t know how.
@Tortoises1are1cool
So true , of feeling that burden , and the fear of getting misunderstood. Have you ever had any deep talk stuffs with any of your friends/parents.. whom you r closed to the most??? maybe you don't have to tell everything all at oncee, you try saying that you don't feel and and feel lost/numb... anything what you feel but keep it short ( am sorry ik it's hard to write abt your feelings in a couple of sentences) so that the person infront of you can also process things and that you also don't get hurt. am just making assumption rn(as idk your friends and fam), theres a high chance that at first you may not get a reaction what you want around your friends/fam but try to give them some time a couple chances. There's a saying you build trust by giving the person the chance to hurt you , and hoping that they does not hurt you. well, not sugar coating but yeah its like taking a leap of faith, if you do find someone who understands you , it will actually be great, you will actually have a good long relation with them.
@maple27725
i also tried opening up to my closest friend, *** it was quiet a bomb and sudden for her, tbh that very 1st interaction went bad.. i felt terrible and lonely too... but eventually she got better we had a better understanding not exactly what i was looking for.. but i liked her effort ***... her being the youngest in her fam and not knowing how to console.. me being the oldest having a couple of responsibilities ... yeah we have differences and different approaches to deal with our things
I’m on the same route as you too. I know how you feeling, I used to hide things on my own and cry alone in my room all night long thinking they did not care about me. If you have a friend that you can really, actually trust I suggest that you should have a serious conversation about what’s going on in your guys lives.
If you trust your parents and you think that they can comfort you more than others, you should reach out to them. Like I said you have to talk seriously not in a joking way.
It would be a LOT better if you are clear about how you feel and what you want to do.
I’m on the same route as you too. I know how you feeling, I used to hide things on my own and cry alone in my room all night long thinking they did not care about me. If you have a friend that you can really, actually trust I suggest that you should have a serious conversation about what’s going on in your guys lives.
If you trust your parents and you think that they can comfort you more than others, you should reach out to them. Like I said you have to talk seriously not in a joking way.
It would be a LOT better if you are clear about how you feel and what you want to do.
Thank you guys so, so, so much for all of your advice and your support, it’s really helped me. Tomorrow I am going to try to tell either a counselor at school or one of my friends. I want to reach out and get the help I need. Thank you guys so much. I’m so sorry to those out there who are going through the same things as me, it’s horrible, but at least we’re not in this alone. To anyone out there who needs to hear this, don’t give up on yourself!
Thank you guys so, so, so much for all of your advice and your support, it’s really helped me. Tomorrow I am going to try to tell either a counselor at school or one of my friends. I want to reach out and get the help I need. Thank you guys so much. I’m so sorry to those out there who are going through the same things as me, it’s horrible, but at least we’re not in this alone. To anyone out there who needs to hear this, don’t give up on yourself!