I need serious help...

I have come to the realization that I have not bonded with my new baby. I did, right after he was born at the end of Feb, but now I want absolutely nothing to do with him. He takes up so much of my time to breastfeed him, change him and get him to sleep... I'm feel blessed if I get him to sleep more than 30 minutes at a time. It's nearly impossible to get anything done and I am so overwhelmed. I just don't want to hold him or feed him or rock him to sleep or hold him to sleep. My whole body aches at the end of the day from holding him. I resent having him.

And this led me to think about my other kids, my husband and the house. I don't want to be here. I don't want to go either. I hate that my kids don't help keep things clean. I hate the piles of things everywhere waiting for me to put them away. I hate that my husband feels a need to remind me about them. No, he won't help at all. He thinks his 8 to 10hr job as a big shot engineer absolve him of making sure his socks and pants make it to the laundry bin, or bringing his plates back upstairs with him. He has told me straight that absolutely everything in the house is my responsibility.

I hate this life. I don't want to do this anymore. Please help me