Introductions and venting

Howdy. I'm new here. Looked up free online therapy. I was diagnosed with manic depression at the age of 12, everything else was piled on following that. I used to have a binder with all my diagnosees, their symptoms, recommended medications, ect. but over the years it's been left behind somewhere. Here lately, I've been incredibly stressed, depressed, anxious, frustrated, just feeling like I'm losing control of my emotions. This is a very bad thing for me personally. Another diagnosees of mine is Schizo-Affective disorder, as long as I can maintain my emotions, I can deal with the hallucinations and delusions. Whenever I Lose control of my emotions, my mind always comes in tow. I'm starting to feel like there's no way out of my situation, like I either blow my lid or lay to rest with no in between. I've been trying so hard to find a way out to no avail... I just don't know what to do, I reckon this is my last ditch effort.