Island Fever

I live on a small island and i feel like the isolation is starting to effect me on many levels. as of right now it's hard for me to afford flying anywhere to travel, so i feel stuck on a rock with no way out. Usually back in the states if i felt that way i'd go for a camping trip or something, and just peace out in my car for 6 hour drive, on the island that's not much of an option. This island comes with a lot of drama as people don't really have much else to do out here but talk about other people, so making friends here hasn't been easy, i have met a few nice people lately so i'm trying to focus on that, but i also know alot of people don't like me here, mainly cuz of my appearance, im covered in tattoos and i feel better judge me initially because of that without even getting to know me, also feeling stuck with depression like i want to be happy and do fun things, but my body is in shut down mode, all the hobbies i used to do, i don't do anymore, music, art, fishing, i don't do any of it, not easy snapping yourself out of it, i look at this pretty beach and i know i should feel gratitude, but i just see a dark cloud when when it's sunny, im trying to find a way to retire my thoughts to more positive things, this app has been helping cuz i tend to reach out to friends about my problems too much, and that pushes them away, then i feel like something is wrong with me, and all i do is burden people with my issues, so i then isolate myself from the world and thay usually makes it worse; like i have no one who cares , no one that's thinking about me, no one loves me , and that im not worthy of love because im too messed up for someone to stick around, all these thoughts are on repeat as soon as i wake up, the girl i'm seeing is ignoring me, and that definitely makes me sad and effects my work flow, i eat like *** when i'm sad, so im trying to balance that and cutting weight, maybe my best bet is to cut ties with this woman, at this point she's just making me feel worse about myself but not reciprocating any communication, overall living out here is not easy, and i'm trying to figure out the meaning and purpose i have,