Issues
So I had a friends group ( people I used to drink with on weekends ) and that’s how o met my now ex bf. 3 years ago. We would make up and get back toualqays argue and cause drama. I would mostly cause drama and say not nice things. Few weeks ago apparently I pushed my female friend from the group to the point she now blocked me and doesn’t wanna be my friend ( I black out drunk most of the time ) I have bpd. Anyway I could sense the group stopped liking me. I also cheated on my bf at the time twice and they were aware of it. So the guys from the group u could tell fell out with me but spoke because of the sake of the group. My mental state wasn’t and isn’t the best tbh. Lazy week my bf now ex said he had enough and broke up with me fully again and said he wishes me the best and that I get help. He went out with them. Well he went there with his other friends to the place we as a group hang out. Then on the Sunday my other female friend just blocked me everywhere with no explanation. I belive it’s because of all the drama and she had enough as well. But it still hurts loosing everyone.
Ads they right not wanting to be my friend ?
@Mariaanne
Perhaps reframing the question can provide a bit of insight. What if "wanting" to be your friend isn't the issue? What if they find it difficult to be your friend, despite having been your friend for what seems like at least three years?
You mentioned having done some things that your friends found it difficult to tolerate. Would it be accurate to say that some of the things you've done have caused hurt feelings? Are you confident that you know what you may have said or done during some of these blackout drunk periods?
It may not be a question of whether or not they care for you. It may be that by allowing you to be around while acting as you have, implies acceptance or approval of what they consider to be unacceptable behavior.
Genuinely good friends will not accept unacceptable behavior. They may tolerate for time, and respond with compassion in hopes of helping you to heal. Ongoing, long-term acceptance of bad behavior has the opposite outcome, as it helps a person become more entrenched in their illness and bad behavior.
My suspicion is that they may still what you to be their friend, if only you would act as a genuine and honest friend who will not hurt them. Keep in mind, if they care about you, hurting yourself will also hurt them.
I would also expect that it may take six months or more for them to accept that you have made positive changes, and are not as likely to hurt them or yourself to such an extent again.
I appreciate both the honesty and insight that you have provided here. I hope you find my perception to be at least a bit helpful.
