It’s not just in harming oneself isn’t it?

Depression is often seen by people when the person suffering ends up harming themselves. But I don’t harm myself anymore(1 year clean!) but it doesn’t mean I’m all okay In my head. I still feel like I’m sinking, like I’m still stuck there in the mud, and it keeps pulling me down until I suffocate and drown. But I have friends who are willing to listen, but I feel as if my issues aren’t as big as theirs, I have a friend suffering with BPD, others with suicidal depression and anxiety, I just feel like mine is so watered down compared to theirs. Like? Idk if it’s just me, and I doubt it is just me.