Just in pain and needed to get it out sorry it’s dark

Voice in the Darkness

I cast no shadow. That darkness resides in my soul. Absorbing any light before it can nourish my soul. My soul is void of willingness. Any willingness to share its secrets. The secrets of enjoyment and of happiness that once kept the darkness away.

There’s a pain in that void too. A pain that has the voice of a siren. Piercing and overwhelming any thoughts of emotional peace. It feeds on my suffering. It’s built a fortress of suffering. Dense, grey, and crystalline in structure yet fluid and nebulous. Trying to reach any enjoyment is a kin to wading through mud filled with thorns and poison. A sense of constant oppression, self loathing, and fear.

I want. I need. I covet a life of hope, enjoyment and love. I know the void is of my own making. Created and fashioned to preserve the laughter that once was. When I had joy that was as natural as breathing. When just being alive enough to fill my days with pleasure. I pray that I’ve left a piece of that joy in the void for at least a flicker of fire to grow. A fire of hope. I hope that if given enough time, space, energy, and most of all love I can breathe a resurrection of life into that joy.