Just my life
Idk
Today morning when i woke up maybe it was my fault idk I just feel like it WAS my fault i talked to my mother a little rudely?just two words TWO and after that time it was her taunting me saying so many bad words and i don't think she realised or felt guilty for using those words toward me because just 15 min ago se again used those words without thinking twice. It's only been tree days since I've came here i was so excited that finally i am going home from this prison atleast for some days but now i regret that prison was much better i think. Her words hurt me so so much she called me '***' means *** and also said that ' i will run away from home someday i am characterless ' even when i never had any boyfriend or any guy friend for this entire 19 yrs of life she said i am seperating her from her brother and sister-in-law and i will seperate her from everyone she loves am i that cursed?that bad?her sister-in-law doesn't even look at me leave the talking part I've tried talking to her but she didn't even look at me and everyone wants me to talk to her nicely and behave nicely. My mama 'maternal uncle' even he doesn't talk to me how do i go and talk to people who aren't even replying to me nicely?and my parents are blaming me for these things???how do i survive i am literally shivering while typing these. I have lost all the faith all the hopes everything died inside me. Think about living at someone else's house eating what they make and they dont talk or look at you how insulting it feels you lose your self respect everytime but you don't have any other support except ur parents who are also blaming you. I just eat the lunch and dinner there at my maternal uncle's place i don't do breakfast there i go to college empty stomach or eat whatever i have with me seperate. I don't take lunch to my college. I don't eat snacks from there . They wash my clothes, the bedsheet i sleep on even when the washing machine is there . I clean my room even when they have maid to clean the whole house . My maternal aunt she just makes food the maid does the dishes, wipes the floor, take the clothes to the washing machine she just goes and turn ons the machine and even the maid puts the clothes to dry and brings them back my maternal she just has to make food for three people including me , herself and her husband. Ik she has every right not to make my food she is not bound to it and i am not even saying anything even i had stopped eating but it had created such a big mess at home and i don't even no cooking. I could help her in cutting vegetables or making chapattis but she doesn't even talks to me how do i go there and help her?
Idk there's so much that i forget my brain stops working and i just go blank sometimes.
I'm just dying inside and nobody knows.
@payal437 I know feeling this way isn't easy, Esp wanting to be heard too. And I want you to know I hear you. I see you. I might not see through you but I see you. it must be a lot to carry and scary too, feeling unimportant and ignored in a place where you're already trying really hard to adjust & help out. Even Even if things are complicated at your uncle’s place, it still matters that you’re feeling hurt and shut out. You don’t deserve to feel like you’re invisible. I’m here to listen. You don’t have to handle all of this alone. Things can feel suffocating at times. but we just gotta breathe our way through it, maybe even cry too. But remember you're a strong, kind, brave person.
Thankyou so much for reaching out 🫂
In the song air tonight the singer Phil collins sings about how he expected to be cheated on his whole life. He likely never opened up emotionally to his wife, she felt alone and cheated. Perhaps if he had trusted she might still have cheated but by never opening up-to his wife he pushed her to it.
It is natural for children to leave home, if a parent behaves like Phil colins. You can stay with phil Collins and never have him trust you or you can leave and they will feel betrayed until they grow up.