Life feels pointless
I’m 45, and I guess I’m posting this because I don’t really have anyone I can say it to. I just need to get it off my chest.
Lately it feels like my whole life is one long fight that I’m losing. The three biggest parts of it, friendship, marriage, and work all feel broken in their own ways.
My marriage feels like it’s running on fumes. My wife’s constant health problems have taken a heavy toll on us. And then there’s infertility. I never thought I desperately wanted kids, but knowing it’s not even possible makes me feel like something’s been taken from me. Like I’m missing a piece of life that everyone else just gets.
Friendship isn’t much better. People drift away, stop caring, stop showing up. My sister left years ago and barely speaks to me. Most days it feels like I’m invisible unless someone needs something.
And work… it’s just existing. It pays the bills but it kills everything else. Every day feels like I’m walking in circles, trying not to fall apart.
I’m not looking for advice or pity. I just feel like I’m always pushing uphill while everyone else walks on flat ground. Everything feels like a struggle — to connect, to matter, to find a reason to keep trying.
Sometimes I wonder if this is just how it’s going to be from now on. One long, quiet endurance test and I feel like I'm failing at everything.
@unassumingMelon2494
Hi - I also feel unsatisfied in these areas... you are not alone.
It may look like everyone else is on flat ground, with wind at their back, and song in their heads... it's not true. We all have battles to deal with: many are great at putting on a mask.
Friendship is hard to maintain as we get older. People drift away, family takes up time and prevents you from hanging out with people. Connection is a garden you need to cultivate. Good luck.
@unassumingMelon2494
maybe do something with your wife baby steps and help her improve her health so you both can have a baby
