Life is not going well

The past few months have been the most difficult period of my life.. to make a long story short I’m away (different country) from my wife because she’s sorting out some family problems with her parents, it’s the first time since we married that we have been apart for so long and that doesn’t help, the more time passes the more I feel like nothing seems to be going my way, it’s hard enough as it is to be so alone but on top of that lately I feel like she’s having a great time over there with her family and she’s not in any hurry to come back, I can’t really go there either because money is short and we had a lot of expenses, every day I feel less motivated to keep going because I feel like it’s for nothing, she seems more interested in making my in-laws lives better than she is in her own marriage, I’m also very sad because my father’s health is deteriorating rapidly and I can’t even visit him because of the money, I feel like I’m going through a really rough patch in my life and my wife is barely there to support me, she always seems more preoccupied with menial things going in her life than she is about her marriage or her husband’s well being, I’ve told her how I feel, the loneliness, the sadness, the lack of motivation, the apathy. And she doesn’t seem to really care, she just shrugs it off as if it’s nothing, she almost never gives any time for me, and I feel like I’m definitely not in her list of priorities right now.

That really hurts me because I have never been that way with her, I always give her all my attention and all my support, I always go the extra mile for her and I do the best I can to be a good husband.

I’m struggling financially, emotionally and even physically as I rarely feel motivated to do anything other than lie in bed and watch movies, I don’t feel motivated to work out, I don’t even feel motivated to play video games (one of my favorite pass time activities).

even working is becoming such a huge effort as I lack any enthusiasm, I used to love my job but now I feel like I do it in auto-pilot, because I have no other choice, not because I want to.

some days I feel very hopeless, and I feel like I have nobody to talk to, nobody that cares about me and I feel like if I disappear nobody would notice. I hate this version of myself and I don’t know what to do to get my life back.

sorry for the long text