Meh
No one understands
All my problems are crashing
I dont feel like me anymore, this cannot be me. I shouldn't do this
Im such a bad person
Im developing new things, I cant eat im so conflicted w my body and my mind
I feel like im drowning
Nobody understands nobody sees anything
I want some care too m sorry im such an attention seeker I just feel like I cant without it
I feel like an outsider to everything, but being the center feels weird too
I dont want anyone but I want so much- but I wreck relationships when they're so close so ill refrain from loving anyone in any way
Whats my problem, I dont know. I went to therapy many times, they didnt give me any name. Im probably just broken and wrong at this point
But I dont care
I dont want to leave, I really dont want to leave, but im so tired I just want to sleep forever and wake up when I feel better
I want to do so many things but I cant get myself to and cant get myself to have the motivation or confidence to achieve those
I have waves of clashing, I didnt know where to type this. I feel wrong
@valrian it’s a lot to carry.
Your mind has concluded something for you. This conclusion sounds like hopelessness. The paradox of it is that it’s meant to protect you from something. Maybe from disappointment, maybe from wasting energy… It is scary how instead it creates a perfect trap preventing us from getting better…
Can you see how the finality of your mods statement is trapping you? Limiting you? „no one”, „forever”, „nobody”, „just broken and wrong”, „I wreck relationships”. Does it seem reasonable that life is more complex than black or white, always or never, bad or good? It’s a serious question from me. I can imagine how much effort it would demand from you to tolerate this complexity in place of the simplified „truths”. You sound already overwhelmed. How on earth could you hold the idea of needing to hold more?! Well, if it helps then maybe it could be about lessening the gripe on the current beliefs instead of expanding it. Does it feel like standing up for those beliefs is the only thing that can protect you from being a fool and more disappointment pain? What are chances that it’s trapping you instead of protecting?
