My mind is like a grey cloud
Hey there, uhm, well this is gonna sound stupid, I know, but I kind of feel like I have to let this crap out of me because I can't handle it anymore.
I'm really a weird teen girl: I just started my new year in a really dumb way, or better, crying for no reason at all. I don't even know why but I'm feeling so disgusted of myself, so embarrassed for all the things that happened to me lately, that I'm crying for no reason. I've cried three times today and my parents didn't even notice, one time in the bathroom, one time in the car and now on my bed (yeah I mean no one cares but...ugh anyways..) Like, if I had to describe my thoughts/mind in a few words when I feel like crying for no reason, I'd say:
-Totally embarrassed
-Disgusted
- "why am I even here alive"
- "why did I have to be so unlicky to live this life"
- "what the *** is wrong with me" or "everything's wrong with me"
- Sad (ahh yeah, as always)
-Idk maybe a mix of sadness, confusion and madness towards myself
-Hopeless
- Feeling like everybody hates me or like thinking that people always talk about me at my back, Idk if that makes sense..
Tell me if this is normal, because I don't think this is normal as I think I'm not normal.
Actually I've never been normal so I guess this is normal..
I don't even know if this will make any sense but welp...I tried.. ¯ \ _ ( ツ ) _ / ¯
Hi Nicky. Have you talked to a counselor or your Dr?
Nope. I mean I'm going to a psychologist but since I'm going with one of my parents (because they just want to talk to my therapist) I'm kind of ashamed of telling her how I'm truly feeling. My mother is taking me to this psychologist because at home we had a lot of discussions and argued a lot (because of our problems) and I told my mom that she's not helping me (my psych.) and that I have other problems, but my mother told me to just wait and that she's going to help me. I've been there, my therapist is a nice lady and always smiley, but honestly, she's not helping me at all. Sorry if it took me a while to respond but I'm really trying to let it all out. Sorry again. 😞
dont worry about how long you take to respond. I’ve been going through stuff myself so I know how you feel. I’m obviously not a professional but I’ve been through a lot of anxiety and depression. It gets better trust me. You just probably need some therapy help or even some medication help. Sometimes there is a chemical imbalance or our way of thinking is negative a lot of the times. I would talk to your mom and psychologist and tell them exactly how and what you are thinking. There are soooo many people going through mental health issues these days so don’t feel ashamed. I used to think mind over matter and all that stuff until I went through it in college. It threw me for a loop. That’s when I realized I needed some help so I got it. It sucks going through it but once the cloud is lifted you appreciate things a lot more.
Thank u for the support ❤️😞
For depression, it actually sounds pretty normal. You do sometimes cry for no reason but it is how your brain chemicals are reacting.
Letting it out by posting is a good way to help, but do try to find some outside support as well.
Counselors and doctors are a good place to start. You can get to a better spot. It just takes a while to get there.
Feel free to vent here whenever you need to. @NickyYayUwU
Ok, thank u ❤️
How were things today?@NickyYayUwU
Not so good, but at least I'm fine.. thanks for asking ☺️
I will ask every day if that helps. There are people out there who do care about what you are going through. @NickyYayUwU
Aww, thank you! Thank for real buddy 😞❤️
A lot of this is like being on a roller coaster. @NickyYayUwU
I totally understand how you feel. My parents are kinda the same. Something that helps me is to find the things or people that trigger me and distance myself from them. I hope your mom lets you go to individual therapy. And I hope that you feel better soon.
She is but this therapy isn't really helping me...because we aren't talking about the real thing that's making me sad. By the way yeah, I'm trying to distance myself from my parents as well (since they're triggering my mental health) and lately I've been running away from home, making excuses saying that I went out with my friend. Once I took the bus to go to the train station (this happened in October I guess..) because I couldn't take it anymore but in the end I just started crying because I felt like not even dying would've helped me (not even *** would've made me suffer so much like that day) and I just broke down in tears and I felt so much pain..I remember the people around me that called the police and they took me back home...what a terrible day... I still runaway from home but... I try not to stay that long away... I know this sounds wrong... I'm sorry 😞💔
I’m here if you want to chat Nicky.
Ok ❤️
@NickyYayUwU It's not wrong. I feel that way too, sometimes. The important thing is to try to get through the darkness. Please remember that you are important, your feelings matter, and there are people who care about you. Posting on this forum and talking about your feelings can help. And we're all here to help you.