Need Advice
about 2 years ago my dad was diagnosed with dementia, my mom and I had no choice but to put him in a home because it was becoming more difficult to care for him. One of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do, I became extremely depressed and it’s ruined my motivation to work/be productive. Another major thing is recently I’ve become controlling of my boyfriend, I somehow get annoyed when he’s with friends and I don’t want to be like that, I love him so much and I want to fix this. it’s like I’m afraid I’ll wake up and he won’t be there or something. A argument we had recently made me realize this and it made my heart sink, I couldn’t believe I was being so awful. I want to be better, but idk where to start or how to do it. If anyone could help or give advice I’d appreciate it 🤍
@AlyssaIstre
I’m so sorry for everything you’re going though. It’s a lot, and it makes total sense if it’s overwhelming for you. I had a similar experience with having my mom in a nursing home after she had an accident and it is so hard. Even if it’s the right thing, it’s not easy.
As far as you feeling like you’re being controlling…can it be because you feel out of control with your dad and/or other issues in your life so you’re trying to control what you can? It would make sense, if that’s the case. If so, maybe just being honest with yourself about what you feel not in control about and how that makes you feel can help.
I’m so glad you’re reaching out. What you’re going through isn’t easy. Please be kind to yourself in this process. It’s a process, not the end.
We recently had to put my dad in assisted living because we couldn't care for him anymore so I understand how tough that is. One thing that helps is watching him there. He seems happier, calmer, and more active. The key is getting the best care for him and recognizing that doesn't have to be you. You are able to give more love than you would otherwise.
As far as your boyfriend goes, talk. Tell him how stressed and depressed you have been and apologize. The good ones will stick around.
Then get some time set aside for just the two of you and different time just for you. If you can, get outside. Make sure you are eating and drinking water. @AlyssaIstre
@AlyssaIstre awww sweetie I'm so sorry😢 gives you a giant tiny hug ❤squeezes you tightly. To see a loved one get so ill in this way, must be so very hard😞 dementia is a terrible thing.And one of the hardest thing for their lives ones to have to see, and go through. So becoming a bit controlling, well it's not your fault your dealing with so much. But now you can see you've been acting this way then a simple apology should be enough to fix this ❤ sends love and faith your way ❤❤