New to this
I never wrote about my feelings or talked to any therapist before. Im so depressed and trying so hard to navigate through life. I keep making mistakes and push away people who care about me. I’m misunderstood and ask for nothing. The things I desire in life are free. Do you know how hurtful it is to want and need things that are free and still can’t receive them? It it wasn’t for my son I think I would’ve killed myself by now. I pour into everyone but nobody puts into me. I don’t remember the last time Someone gave me a hug or told me they loved me or asked me if I’m ok or what do I need. I have never felt so invisible or unheard in my life. I feel like I failed at everything and the only thing left for me is to be a parent and I can’t even be that because I’m so depressed. I’m drinking more and more. Can’t sleep. Have nightmares almost every night. Look up flights to different states 24/7. Why is my life this way. Why am I the giver who will never receive. I’m hurting so bad and nobody knows. It feels like any day would be my last. I have a son who depends on me and I’m trying so hard to be happy and be here
@secretOwl7123 Hi there, I really feel for you and all you are carrying. It sounds like a lot. I can hear how exhausting and lonely it may be, especially being the one who gives and does not receive. I am sorry it's been so long since you have received a hug or someone saying they love you, or someone checking up on you. We all deserve that kind of love and care. It feels like a lot is weighing on your heart and soul. Life can honestly be so difficult to navigate. Thank you for coming on here and sharing, I am glad you did. 💗I can hear how hard you are trying to keep going and to be here for your son. If you ever need more support, please do reach out on here or even to a therapist. You should not carry all this alone.
@secretOwl7123
I have asked myself many times about why this world works like this… About why people who give often are left drained… it seems that we live in an amazing but imperfect world that defaults to run on the jungle rules. I believe that there is more. That we can choose to be more. It’s just not easy to find it sometimes. And can be difficult to face the jungle side. Your thoughts about responsibility and being tied and done are relatable.
Let’s create some space for you to feel you exist.
What kind of coffee or tee do you like? What is your definition of having a nice coffee/tea/warm milk moment?
Or maybe you can think of a better “what feels nice for you” aspect to share? 😉
First time for everything 💙
That sounds so demanding, so hard to carry. You deserve those hugs and love and to have someone give back 💙 but the severity of your depression sounds so unforgiving, I’m worried about you
7Cups doesn’t handle issues involving suicide but has crisis resources at https://www.7cups.com/crisis/. Please reach out to someone if things get worse 💙