Not feeling like myself

Hi everyone, I'm not sure if I'm doing this right. I'm new to this app and really need to talk to someone and get things off my mind.

I'm going through a lot of big changes lately and not sure how to handle it. I recently left a job that I loved (worked there for 3 years) but was causing me extreme burnout. I was fortunate to find a new job that is treating me very well, and I've been here about a month now. The bad part is I have to wait to get until the beginning of October to get insurance. I've previously taken Lexapro for my depression and anxiety but had to stop taking it due to lack of insurance and financial reasons. I also had to switch from a birth control pill ive been on over 10 years to a "minipill" because apparently my blood pressure is too high and Nurx would not approve my prescription request. Luckily I had enough Lexapro pills to taper off of it slowly over the course of a few weeks.

My body is going through a lot of changes because of this and I feel very emotional and depressed today. I'm on lunch at my new job hiding in my office because I feel stupid and keep feeling like crying. There's a lot of new things going on and I hate not knowing things and being the new person. We did get another new team member last week and I'm happy I'm not the only new one anymore. However, I'm starting to feel left out because all the focus is on them now and since I'm a month ahead in training I feel like I'm supposed to know things and I'm not quite there yet. Today I found out she's been added to things and invited to events I haven't been invited to yet. While that's great for her, I feel left out and stupid.

I hate having all these feelings but I know they're valid and a part of me. I have to wait until October to get insurance and find a counselor/mental health provider. I'm starting to wonder if I should consider going back on the Lexapro then but it's only been about a month...

I know time will help but I'm feeling really overwhelmed and emotional right now. It's a lot to take in. I truly appreciate this space and the ability to share with someone, I just can't do it alone anymorw