Recovering From Being An Anti-Social & Loner
Hi all,
I hope everyone’s doing ok.
I would like some advice on how to become more social. For as long as I can remember, I’ve been a loner and always sit by myself in my room. Not because I hate people, I’m just a naturally very shy and quiet person and feel like I don’t have a lot to offer and I have a bit of social anxiety, so to me it’s pointless. But, it’s something I was told to change. Please give me advice on how to start being more social and how to deal with this issue as a loner. Thank you.
@compassionatePlum5246 Hi there! Firstly, it's great that you're reaching out for advice, and it takes courage to share your feelings. I want you to know that you're not alone in feeling this way, and many people have faced similar challenges.
To become more social, consider taking small steps at your own pace. One suggestion is joining clubs or groups that align with your interests, this can provide a natural way to connect with others who share similar passions. Gradually, attending social events and gatherings will help you ease into social situations.
It's okay to be a bit shy and quiet, and everyone has something valuable to offer, including you! Don't be too hard on yourself. Progress takes time, and every small step is a victory. You're on your own journey, and it's perfectly okay to go at your own pace 🌈
Wishing you all the best on your social journey! If you ever want to talk more about it, I'm here for you.
Hi!
Thank you very much, I appreciate those kind words. Yes clubs are a great way to make friends, but unfortunately I don’t really go out a lot. I’m very much a home body and so it will be hard at first but I’m trying to at least make friends online since that’s a bit easier. Maybe I’ll find some friends here on 7 Cups, I don’t know 😞
Thank you for reassuring me. I hope I can make progress although it feels very hopeless now, my depression has come back so I’m struggling as you can imagine.
Thank you so much, best wishes to you and I appreciate you being here for me.
@compassionatePlum5246 You are very welcome. It's completely okay to be a homebody, and making friends online can be a wonderful experience. I'm sorry to hear that your depression has returned, sending you lots of positive thoughts and a virtual hug 🌈
@Mya000 It really can! Some of my friendships have been formed online. It’s easier, in my opinion to make friends that way because you can bond over similar interests. Although that can be done IRL too haha. And thank you so much, taking it day by day. sending a virtual hug back 🫂
@compassionatePlum5246 Hello, thanks for sharing your feelings here. Did you mean someone told you you need to change, or you just felt it? Just know that you don't need to change just because someone tells you to, especially if you don't feel you should. I can identify with your situation- I am also a loner and a quiet person, sit by myself in my room a lot, and if I go out in public I carry out my activities by myself without speaking to many people (if I talk to anyone). Social interaction feels draining- even just going out in public alone is.
Some things you could do is check out some clubs and group activities, or events in your area. If someone in public talks to you, you could have a conversation out of it. There must be some kind of public social events near you... you don't really need to have anything to offer to others to socialize. Sometimes you could be surprised by the people you meet, from the outcome of you socializing, because it could be really positive 🤗
Hi Magical Tree,
Yes my family thinks I should be more social with them. They don’t like that I stay in my room. I can understand, maybe they miss me, but it’s not that I don’t want to hang out with them or have bad intentions, I’m just used to sitting by myself and being quiet. I have been a loner since high school, I was never popular so I’m just used to being quiet and alone. Thank you for your reassurance, it’s good to know that I’m not alone in this situation, I’m in exactly the same boat as you.
I will try to do that, yes if someone approaches me in public I don’t try to avoid conversations, I talk with them. Thanks for your advice and for talking with me, I really appreciate your tips. I hope you have a good day <3