Scared of myself
I have been feeling scared of myself recently. Scared of where my mind will go if I let it think away. I’m worried to lose my mind that i want to be in control of. I’m tired of hiding my emotions. I’m tired of pretending everything is okay because well I want to enjoy life again. I feel like I haven’t enjoyed life in a long time:( it’s so hard to keep reminding myself all the good things I have. I’m just so sad and hopeless all the time :(
@Janenaturefreak Try to not blame yourself. It’s usually not a person’s fault to feel like this. Maybe you have a reason to feel sad and it’s worth talking about. Or maybe, it’s chemical brain imbalance.
Wanna share more of how it feels?
Some basic physical actions that might help are exercising, sunlight exposure or improving diet.
It feels like I’m fighting myself in my mind. My mind wants to just think and be loud constantly when I’m trying to be present to those around me but it’s so overwhelming and stressful.
@Janenaturefreak Staying in constant control is exhausting. What might the goal of the control you described? Could it be to make sure that what comes out to be seen by people is an appropriate version of you? Does it feel close? It sounds like this version could be very lonely in a room full of people…
What if you chose to allow someone to see your overwhelm? Could it be that this vulnerability would create a chance for feeling seen and connected?
You were pretty much on point there.. I let my partner see this side of me for the first time. It’s been so hard on the both of us but he really has been improving this feeling I have. I do want to feel like I’m being seen and I want to feel connected to people
@Janenaturefreak you did something brave. I am glad that your partner responded with compassion you needed. It will take practice but as far as I can tell it’s worth it.
I wish you and him to grow through this well. When you feel safer through this, you might be able to let in more people 🌸
Is there something we could help with? A question to answer?
It feels like I’m fighting myself in my mind. My mind wants to just think and be loud constantly when I’m trying to be present to those around me but it’s so overwhelming and stressful.
@JanenaturefreakTry to stay grounded as much as you can. Velueve in yourself. You are experiencing temporary chaos. It never feels temporary, but it will pass at some point. Stay strong, weather the storm. You will make it to a space of more manageable chaos. It's a waiting game sometimes. You can do it, though. You only need to believe you are capable, which you always are.
@lavenderAvocado1232*Believe, not vuelive or whatever typo I posted. Sorry about that.
I’m trying to stay as grounded as possible.. it’s been hard but it’s getting manageable. I’m just worried how I’m going to function at work like this :( thank you so much for taking the time to reply to my post I really appreciate it. it really means a lot
@JanenaturefreakI apologize for bungling this so badly. My reply was meant for you, Janenaturefreak.
@Janenaturefreak Hey there. Thank you for sharing this — it takes a lot of courage to put these feelings into words. I want you to know you’re not alone in this.
It really means a lot.. sometimes I forget what and who I have around me
