Slowly drowning

I don't have friends and my family is very toxic and dysfunctional. I've gone through so much in life. I came from a broken family. My mom would physically and mentally abuse me. I was also sexually abused by a family member for years. Somehow survived. I am now married and with a baby. But being a stay at home mom with a very cold husband is just making me very very very depressed. In those 10 years I feel like he never really knew me. He doesnt seem to know what i like even when I tell him all the time. He almost never really got me gifts. And at times he did, it would be something I dont like. When I tell him I love flowers and why he doesnt get them for me, he would say it's just a waste of money. He never initiates affection. I would always hug or kiss him first. Or I will ask him to hug me or kiss me but he never do it on his own. He always walks ahead of me, even that time I was pregnant and I had a foot fracture. All those years it's always been 50/50 became 60/40 on bills and expenses, even if I'm a stay at home mom, I have money to contribute. But lately he's getting more money and I'm gonna loose my part time. If he could treat me bad when I can contribute, I'm scared how much worse it will be that I would not be able to contribute anymore. I always ask him if he trully loves me and all the time he says he loves me. But I just cant feel it. I have brought up all my issues so many times, bringing up how I cant feel his love. And how he can try to express his love the way I can feel it. But nothing really changes. I don't know how I'm gonna escape this because I honestly dont have savings. What do I do with our relationship? And how can I survive this for me and my baby?