Struggling/in a dark place

Hey everyone, its been really hard im in a really dark place and trying to take it 1 day at a time but its not easy. I feel like ive failed yet again, ive worked off an on since I was 16 years old and have nothing to show for it, ive tried but it wasn't good enough all ive ever wanted was to be financially free and be a home owner but ik thats never gonna happen. Ive been struggling my whole life, ive never had anyone in my corner or to support me. Ive reached out on social media and my local community to see if they can help me get an rv bc im living in an unsafe apartment and I was denied dss said the only way they would help is of i got evicted or condemned. Im just ready to throw in the towel, nothing I do is ever enough. Its hard seeing all these other people having a nice house being financially free and living the dream ive always had sometimes I wish my mom would have had an abortion with me then id never have to deal with any of this. Praying doesn't help and im quite frankly tired of being told "ot will get easier " yea right when? When im dead. Anyway sorry this has just been heavy on my mind and heart