Stuck in constant loops

Battled myself depression and anxiety since I was a teenager. I'm almost 50 and still battling. Been on all the meds, most work for awhile and then they stop or need to be increased or adjusted. Currently can't stop crying and getting out of my own head. I don't have the words to describe everything, brain fog. Had a few close friends until I became the manager and then lost them. Feeling alone, worrying about family, and feeling stuck.