Suicide

Recently l've been having this problem we're l'm perfectly fine but I want to not be fine. So I'm stuck in this cycle where one e I make myself be sad I can't get out of it. This time it's really bad l've been think on ending things, but there's this parto of that wants amd knows I need help. So I don't like talking but l've been trying to give sings tho I do understand that I should talk but it's hard. There's this other part of me that does want to end everything. I just don't know what to do. Plus I’ve been having suicidal thoughts, I’ve written letters and have a plan but I can’t seem to go through with it. I’m trying one more time to give life a shot, but I’m scared of what I’ll do when me day where I can’t control these thoughts.