TW Weed

I'm 15 and I've been struggling with strong depression since I was about 12 and it's never really gone away no matter what I do or try to change in my life it's genuinely just always there almost every day it's ruined my interest in everything I used to love doing I feel so unnoticed as well and I try to vent to someone and it's always the same stuff either they don't even listen or they don't know what to say depression genuinely ruined my life into a nicotine addiction which gradually stopped working so I tried weed and now I only feel happy when I'm high at this point (I don't smoke weed a lot) I genuinely just want to feel loved by people and I dont some days are straight agony even if nothing is happening and it's like I'm incapable to even be happy now. I apologize if this Is really deep I've just been bottling this all in for a very long time.