Therapist fired me?
I was having such a hard time and really needed to open up to my therapist about it all so I prepared what I wanted to say and thought about everything a lot just trying to hold on until our meeting last week and when I got there and told her I felt myself getting bad again she seemed irritated with me and said that she felt like I was just always telling her what she wanted to hear.
But I wasn’t I was really trying my best and it was just not going good yk, but I wasn’t lying and trying to deceive her in any way and when she said that, I didn’t know what to say and I was so close to crying because I thought she trusted me and liked me. She asked me what I thought she could do for me and I was just so heartbroken and depressed that my mind was completely blank and so I just said idk. Then out of nowhere she started asking me a bunch of questions abt special needs stuff and said that I seemed autistic (which I had guessed myself but her saying that means my nervousness/anxiety was and is definitely showing in such a weird way and that pretty much everything I worry about what other ppl think of me is true because they can clock that I’m weird and not normal) and that she can’t help me.
Then she talked to my mom for the rest of the session privately and I was really hoping there would be time where I could go back in and we would at least talk about something else I needed to get off my chest, but then the session just ended and she said she’d text me (never did) and canceled the rest of our sessions together.
And I know that if she can’t help me, she can’t help me and that’s that but it was maybe the worst possible week for that to happen and now everything is falling apart again and I’m such a failure and I want to give up. I haven’t moved from my bed really since then, haven’t done anything I needed to, haven’t talked to people. I’m just so out of it and burnt out, I don’t know why I’m here and I wish it was easier to die
I didn’t mean to be a bad patient at all if I was, I’m just really bad at expressing myself and get really uncomfortable talking about myself to someone else, I didn’t mean to do any of it
@silvermoood
I'm sorry that happened to you. It would've been more honest for her to say she can't meet your needs. Not all therapists behave that way.
None of this is your fault. Maybe your therapist needs a good therapist.
This sounds like such an awful situation. Not only did your therapist reject you, but they also threw out a potential diagnosis with no verified explanation and also accused you of trying to please her. It’s the responsibility of a therapist to work with any issues you present with, and even when they feel like there’s people pleasing, they work with it not against it. They might try to help you feel secure, safe; and valued enough as is so you don’t feel scared to share, but it seems like that wasn't the case.
There’s no such thing as a bad patient, only a therapist that doesn’t know how to conduct proper therapy. If there are therapists out there that can work with criminals or sex offenders or people with way more complex issues tied up to their past (not saying your problems don’t matter or are any less complex, but I’m not comparing you to people like criminals at all), then there is definitely a therapist out there that can sit down, listen, and affirm that you’re not weird or a bad patient for being different. A orchid is not the same as a dandelion but that does not make either less valuable and beautiful on their own.
I hope you are able to find a better therapist. In the meantime, I hope you find solace sharing here. You’re not a lost cause.