Trying to find a purpose

  Well I’m happy to finally share my thoughts on here. I’m a type of person who is blessed since I was young . I just turned 24 on the 1st of September. graduated from high school since 2017 . Since then I’ve found fun in living the lifestyle I enjoy , smoking, drinking and other things , I couldn’t go any further with my education. I tried to enroll in different universities but I always ended up withdrawing my application. Along with my friend we Graduated from high school together, we’ve been doing the same thing for years we live together and share bills . he also terminated from couple universities he enrolled at, we’ve been living together, traveling together since we graduated from high school. We have misunderstanding and minor issues sometimes and always end up settling issues. I over think things and fell into depression, I’ve been smoking weed consistently more than 5 years because it help me getaway, there’s a time he was preparing to travel to other places to further his career, I was scared of losing our friendship which made me feel so sad, but unfortunately he couldn’t make it.  getting older together was fun , we both applied for undergraduate programs at the same university in Canada to get our degree but we were both denied. Since then I started having the feeling of wanting to be alone and find a purpose for myself because I’m not getting any younger . I started having the thought of how he treated me in the past years and sometimes I just pretend everything is normal. I recently applied to get my degree in turkey which I was being sincere and told him about , he applied to a different university in the same country and got in , he lost his immediate brother in the last 4 months ago which was really hard for him , sometimes he got lost and panic because of the trauma, I’m his only friend who comfort him and make sure he’s okay .I tried to speak with someone that I needed to be on my own and I don’t want to stay with him anymore because i need to prepare for the real world . I was told to stay with him since he’s still in grief about his brother who died , my thoughts are when I get to turkey we can still be friends but get a seperate accommodation . any suggestions