What do I do…

I’ve struggled with depression for a long time, and sometimes it can get pretty bad. The last time it was this bad was about exactly this time two years ago. I met my boyfriend in September last year, and he is one of the sweetest most caring people I have ever met. I truly love him. I am starting to be conflicted because I have been having a really hard time recently, feeling very down and over it and just genuinely angry everyday. I open up to my boyfriend about the things I struggle with, and he is usually very supportive. But recently, he has mentioned how draining it is to always be “taking care of me”. How he wants nothing more than for me to be happy, but he feels like I do nothing to try and be happy. It is confusing and also hurtful to me because while I don’t want to be a burden to him, I also feel unseen in my efforts to be okay everyday. I don’t want to make his life harder by being upset, but I also don’t want to make my own life harder by keeping my feelings to myself in an attempt to seem happy. I don’t want to hide my feelings and deny my reality, but I also don’t want to be abandoned because of it. I really don’t know what to do because I fear my depression getting worse by keeping it hidden but I also fear more than anything losing the one person I really love.