What should I do?

@sadstrawberri I'm sorry to hear how bad your struggling😞 sometimes giving up seems like the only option . But you made it this far, you fought through it all this far, your trying hard all this time. And despite everything your still here. Which means you have hope, I have hope for you too ❤ for us all. Always believe that something amzing is waiting just around the corner. So please don't give up in the end it'll all be worth it ❤hugs you tightly ❤it's all gonna be ok

Good day to you, I hope that you are doing well

I want to tell you a story, as you read it I want you to see it from the point of view of the closest confidant you have in your immediate family/friend circle, then let it change to anyone that you may relate something in here to. Finally, vision it from your own perspective and what you had as a child that would protect you from the hard times.

There was a person who had the belief that ending things was their best option. This person was liked by the people they made contact with due to their relatability to others problems, as well as how they found light in the darkness by cracking a joke to break the concentration of bad and purify it to good.

This person felt broken due to failed relationships, but had a drive to find a more meaningful experience of life other than the revolving circle of wake up, go to work, eat, go to sleep, repeat. Their daily hobbies included alcohol, video games, porn and any other vice they could find to escape from their on thoughts.

One day, they had too much to drink while they were upset thinking about how they never amounted to something better than what they were. They found themselves staring in the face of the most selfish act that any one person could do, but they were too far gone and unfortunately, they decided to take action without a single thought of how those around them would feel.

From this moment on, things became strange. The persons parents became sick, their best friend lost grips with this new reality, their siblings began to grow apart and the love of their life no longer showed emotions. One parent overcame their sickness while the other could not, the best friend turned to alcohol to numb the pain, but the love of their life continued on pursuing a new hobby.

These changes went unnoticed for a few years until one day, they truly looked around the room to see the real damage they created. Trying to help all of them was no easy feat, but they were determined to fix everything no matter what the cost was. The surviving parent was okay but alone, so they frequently stopped by to make sure everything was okay. The friend began to speak of taking the same path, so they would warn them of the big picture consequences. The siblings were okay but divided and communication would dissipate, so they would try and contact them no matter how long it's been. Their love was still doing okay but struggling with daily tasks of their new hobby

There was something that was overlooked during this persons quest to help those in need that was building up unknowingly, they forgot to mourn the fallen parent properly. This was where their wake up call hit, reality was back and it was very upset with this person but something would guide them along the way.

They had a moment of clarity once the tears subsided that would change them forever. They felt that they made a terrible selfless mistake long ago, and the new reality was that going down that path was what did this. They took all the blame and put it on themself, a burden no man or woman could truly understand. They were determined to change the cultural jokes made about self harm we make towards one another as well as ourselves, as this ideology was no joking matter before technology went mainstream.

This story is not a folklore, nor is this a tale made up to make you feel better for a few moments. This story is my own. It can be taken as how you or anyone who may read it want to take it, but just please understand that you have a purpose here. It may not have been realized just yet but I promise you whatever troubles you may face are only temporary, but the damage you will create around you will not go unnoticed by your higher power.

Create a passion project, if you like drawing grab a sketchbook and fill it with your emotions. If you like tinkering with tools, build something and know it will it be perfect going into it, but that's the fun of learning. Taking something imperfect and saying that it's your own creation is a power few people have that will get ridiculed at first, but who are they to judge your imperfections when they have yet to face their own?