an introverted's thoughts corner.

Trigger warning ⚠️//

The title say it all I believe.

Every damn time I wanted to share these, and different things that stopped me from doing so. Anyway, I'm afraid I'll stop talking if I continue this.

So... There are things.. which probably would be the reason some of you hate me for, yet here I am.

I hate sitting in parties, I just want to Burst in my room as soon as possible.

I hate it when most my relatives come to our house.

I hate spending time with spoiled kids, yk almost any kid, except my nephew. Yes I am favoring her because she's the only child I love. Go ahead say it out loud.

I hate when I have to be in crowds when I'm outside.

Damn I even hate being outside, except for a very few places.

Hmm being with my counselor is nice, she doesn't explain things more than necessary and isn't an drama queen.

I absolutely hate it... When an stranger ask me a question I told I'm uncomfortable to answer, more than once...

I hate it even when close ones step into my boundaries.

I hate how loud some people and some places could get...

I hate most movies, without depth, meaning, or anything worthwhile to watch...

Yet, at the same time, 

Sometimes, I feel... Heart broken or unwanted, unworthy, empty, and lonely, when, I'm not with people I love.

When I behave feel drained after spending time with my nephew.

When I'm almost always quiet except with a few people I real life.

When cancel my sessions etc and stay safe home.

I hate it when I don't enjoy things other people do i hate it when I stay in my room.

I hate it when I behave cold toward my family. I hate it.. when I put so much thinking into meaningless matters.

When I get pendent over the most stupid things... Like an thread of strings that my mother braided for me, or over the small eraser that my teacher given me around 13 years ago...

I hate how ageing up or the season had affects my mental health.

Or... Sighs* never mind.

Yk, if would have the chance to chose my personality type, I would chose introvert still, but I just wanted to share these with y'all.

A few days ago I took an personality test and got INFP as result.

It was so shocking and interesting for me, when I were reading the description about my personality.

It was in reading my journal or life story.

Especially when it was talking about career interests, it exactly mentioned most/ all of my favorites.

Or the part when it was talking about how infp people struggle with finding career path, something to fullfil their need of soul.

I feel I'm already done, it's getting harder for me to put my attention on this so I'll stop now.

Pass, btw, I don't mean some of them really, but I tried to be loyal to realty. Anyways,

Looking forward hearing from you.