eww

guess i needa be WAY more careful about where i keep my stuff from now on.

my mom found ANOTHER page of vent writing today, when going through the things in her room. she called me in there all ominous and just handed me what she found with this scary dead look in her eyes. i didn't read what i'd wrote, and just threw it away. i had written it on a piece of copy paper when going through a hard time MONTHS ago. just by the tone of voice she'd had when calling me to get my "creation" was enough to indicate to me that i didn't want to keep it around. her reaction wasn't so strong this time as to when she'd found stuff in august, but i still feel like total sh!t. and on top of that, she made sure to remind me that everything i "wished" on her goes back to me. just to give my anxious a-- more to worry abt. i seriously thought i was finally healing from august but now it feels like im back to square one. i feel like a guilty, disgusting lump of human existence who deserves to rot, so i hope she's happy. i gave her more reason to believe im crazy, and i have no one to blame but myself.