idrk if I'm actually depressed or not but I'm gonna go explain my situation

I've rarely done this opening up to the internet going on because of the trends,society opinions and blah blah blah

For years, I'm actually raised well I think. I'm fed, clothed, and got to go to a school I've always wanted to go, but, I don't know anymore if I wanted to go again. I decided not to go tomorrow (I'm making an excuse letter).

For starters, my main problem will be my mother. I never know, never sure if she loved me or not

do you accept he fact that your mother will tell you that you're not their daughter?

To the point that it happens every day, every month, and especially every year because I was with her since I was a baby obviously.

I never knew what's gotten into her that it took something deep within me, feeling free.

I never wanted to live so restricted because of what I'm going through, my mother made me feel stuck despite the fact I go outside and go to school, have some friends, but I'm stuck inside. I forced myself to restrict myself due to my mother's behavior towards me, she doesn't even trust me and started speaking nonsense that I'm not supposed know or be involved in.

I'm still a kid and growing, but my age is where I should be mature enough, confident enough. I want to be free.