little history and newest update

May 29th

GONNA BE A LONG ONE

Starting to get back into the slump I tried so damn hard to get out of, and idk what the *** to do. Within 2 weeks, I lost my job, lost my apartment, had to move back home, and a week later had an infection in my eye, which is causing me to lose my vision. I now live back home with my mom, and my partner came with and it’s just so much not knowing what in the world is coming next. Every time I try to plan something with my mom and just explain to her everything in life and how it feels, I’m canceled on or just ignored because she is talking to her new man. It’s to the point that I really have no one to deal with this with me, and it’s kind of ***. Been like this before, so I’m just faking it till I make it, but like honestly, it’s getting old. NOTE: I did adult things today and signed up for an online counseling session this coming week to maybe see how things will go after this. We shall see!!

June 8th: Little update, not going deep, but things have only gotten worse with her, as now I have become her venting-stress person to go to, then just disappear after it all. Like she just drops everything and anything, then goes to her room. Also had my initial appointment for therapy and was told, 20 minutes in, that I don’t meet the criteria to be in therapy, and there was nothing further, as the meeting was ended. GREAT!!! That is all.

SO 9/18 UPDATE 

Since those last two posts, things have gotten even worse. Towards the end of August, my partner and I had split up due to the narcissistic personality she had, along with me being the bad guy and the cause of every issue there was to mankind. We had split on the last day of a trip we had taken to SD after a huge argument, and honestly, my mental health has only tanked from here. Just before our split, though, my mom, who im still with, moved her 31M boyfriend and his 8-year-old son into the house, and we all live together. What I had imagined was the complete opposite. I had the dumb idea that things would be nice with all of us, and OH BOY am I wrong. The BF does not know how to parent his child at all and caves in to everything he wants, and the child is just a holy terror. But the F***** part that hits me is that no matter what time or place, whenever im just trying to talk to my mom, since she knows how I am mentally, her BF and his child have to be involved, according to the BF. I have pretty much started locking myself in my room whenever I am home, or I just leave till they are all asleep. I am rarely eating or sleeping anymore due to all of this, and honestly, I just don't know what to do anymore. But I guess I'd just update a few people who have been here since May and saw my original post about all of this.