Anyone else dealing with existential crises?
I feel that existence is pointless but that I couldn't just leave existence or it'll upset everyone around me, so I've basically accepted that my life from now on will be nothing but distraction. The problem is, this way of thinking makes one less engaged with the world and it has left me in a deep slump of wanting to do nothing. It's the worst timing too, as I'm just now transitioning into the adult world. The temptation to just do nothing forever is great, but if I don't do anything, everyone will be disappointed in me.
Anyway, I just felt the need to rant.
@CautiousCake I totally get it.I feel like I'm in a constant state of being an "adult" but not being an adult at all. I have a lot of responsbilities but I feel like everything I do is worthless; like the work I do is pointless even though I chose to be here (in graduate school). There is so much I should be doing that I freeze up and run away and do nothing, which just stresses me more and makes me hate myself more. I'm trying to remember that it's ok to do one thing at a time, or even just one thing every day that I need to get done. If that's all you can handle in a day, that's ok.
@Jo1111111 I feel that too much
@CautiousCake it's a very common feeling. I sit back and question life and the universe way too much which leaves me feeling down. It's easy to think that in the grand scheme of things nothing matters but I think part of life is finding something that feels like it matters. An anchor that grounds you and keeps those thoughts at bay. It could be anything from hobbies to loved ones.
It's easy to think that we don't matter but you will always matter to somebody. We're humans, we want connections to make us feel important. At the end of the day, we are all just trying to get by and build our lives into something we can be proud of and happy with.
It's okay to feel stuck and lost sometimes. Everyone feels that way at one point and another.
Life is short and temporary, we all live in the same cycle from start to finish. It's that we do in between those moments of beginning and end that really matter and shape what experience we get out of the temporary existence we are thrown into.
So keep going. Find an anchor. Find new interests. Set yourself future goals and don't take your eyes off them. And remember to take care of yourself.
Love - DA
@discreetAcres6234 Thanks for the post. I agree with you, this is mostly my outlook on life: the meaning of life is what you make of it, but I'm not entirely sure what I want to do in life and am afraid that I'll choose something I regret and stuff up the rest of my life. Also, being 18, I'm getting to the point where I don't have much time to decide
@CautiousCake I know how you feel. I actually took a gap year when I finished school at 18 because I was so scared and unsure of what I was doing in life and what I was ready for.
I also don't think life is a straight line. Some people don't automatically know what they want their life to be, it's a process of trying, failing and learning. The failing is the scariest part because no one wants to fail. We, as humans, are scared of failure and find it easy to beat ourselves up over failures. Sometimes you just have to be brave and take chances.
It's easy to feel like the world is ending at the age of 18. The adult world is scary and unfamiliar, you have no idea how to deal with it. But you manage.
Setting goals is the first step really. If you can figure out a goal then you are already on the way to something good.
I suddenly had it at the beginning of this month and it lasted a good three weeks. And it was extremely painful. I couldn't be casual or shrug it off it was for some reason soul crushingly painful. But as I gradually came out of it, it helped me define what is truly important to me. Also helped me forgive past hurts. Idk I just hope that hell storm of a feeling doesn't ever come back.
I have this feeling too. I can't see any meaning to life, and life feels like a chore. It feels like I'm living for other people. In the big picture, it doesn't seem like what happens to, what happens to the people I know, or even what happens to all humans really matters. It's getting harder and harder to convince myself to do things that I "should" do like go to school, not break the law, etc. because I don't see how it matters. I can't find any purpose in my own life, and it's maddening knowing I have to be alive. I don't know what to do :(.
Sometimes, it does feel like things do not make sense, and that everything is of no consequence. But as time goes on, the realisation that time was wasted also plagues you.
It does feel impossible to go through the motions, but as you said, transitioning to adulthood is all about growing while keeping the core of you intact, right?
Find new things to do, other activities to engage yourself in, and try to evolve. That'll go a long way in helping yourself.
I have the same feeling..
@CautiousCake I feel something similar. For the last couple of months I've been like "Oh my Gosh, my life is so boring and senceless. I don't enjoy what I do (at least, not always). I am tired. Even if I try to do something "productive" and meaningful, it seems like it doesn't make any difference." :(
I'm currently going through this as well. It has been going on for a little over 3 months. I'm trying to find my religion, I'm trying to define my purpose, and I'm trying to do the best for my daughter. Often I feel much better when I have her, but shared custody is painful. My father has been through deep depressions and I'm assuming there's a genetic component to it. With that said, he's gotten through it and seen plenty of happy times as well. While I'm going through it, it is tough and painful, but nothing lasts, even this. I try and appreciate every moment I'm not feeling down.
Sadly to say, I feel like I deal with existential crises all the time, as odd as it is I mostly disassociate when I have them as well so it's like a double-whammy of unpleasantness. One thing you can do to ground yourself though is counting things. 5 things you see, 4 things you can feel, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell and 1 thing you can taste and that's a good way of coming back.