I'm depressed...hey, where have all my friends gone? ?
In our group of friends, no matter what is going on in my life, I've always been the 'go to' friend whenever life is bad. One of my friends in particular turns to me cos her daughter self harms, overeats and hits her, her other daughter restricts food and is wasting away, her son is basically an obnoxious so in so because she babies him and her and her husband argue loads as she gives in to the kids demands. I've been there when daughter took an overdose and was in hospital twice, been there when my friend was ill in hospital, then had an op, looked after her son so she could work, and listened to her and husband when they were on verge of divorce. My other friend is not an emotional sort. .she rarely shows any emotions so struggles to show empathy or support because of this. Since I told both these girls I was signed off work with depression I've hardly heard a thing. Tell a lie. .friend number 2 sent a random message cos she wanted info. Other than that it's like I'm a leper!
Why is it people still struggle to support friends and family going through depression? You read everywhere that if you're suffering, to turn to friends and family. .bit of a joke really.
Anyone else experience this?
Unfortunately.......yes. All the time, I too am the go to person if you have a problem. I guess cause I have empathy and take the time to sit and listen and follow up and see how they are doing. But......it rarely works that way in reverse. There are two kinds of people.....us and them.
Hope you feel better, depression sucks. So to fair weather friends.
I've experienced this a lot over the last few a years so I definitely know how you feel. Especially when dealing with depression. It does suck, but hang in there. :D Things will hopefully get better.
I used to be the go-to friend until I decided that I couldn't handle it anymore. I didn't see how it was fair for everyone to know how badly I was suffering but never trying to help me through it. Everyone came to me when they needed help, advice, a friendly ear, comfort. But when I needed all of that, no one paid attention to me.
Friendship isn't about giving all the time, you need to receive too. And if you don't then it's obvious that the people you call your friends only see you as a shoulder to cry on. We are all humans with emotions, no one should treat you as if you're just there to sponge up their emotions. There is a limit to how much you can take until it drains you and leaves you feeling worthless.
Something that I never did was confront my friends about this. I just let the friendship die. Maybe it would be wise to talk to these friends of yours about how you feel about it?
You are worth more than just how useful you can be to others. You can't save the world but you can save yourself.
