I'm sick of my life...

It's bad enough I come from a verbally abusive home and developed BPD from it only to end up married to a mamas boy who's mom is narcissistic and lives with us too... I have two kids one with autism the other with BPD also... I often wonder how I got so unlucky ....both my kids have different dads which is another story in itself this my second marriage and I'm not even 45 yet....lord help me ...