Not sure what to do

Maybe someone could help me figure out what to do. I've felt this way for a while, I don't know whether it's depression or what it is. Ever since I was little I recall many times where I was always sad and depressed, I didn't have make many friends when I was younger. There were times were I was happy but it seemed short lived. It seems like as I got older the worse everything has got ( im currently 20). Every day I wake up and getting up out of bed is a struggle. I always wish that I could just fall back asleep and never wake up. Throughout the day it doesn't get better. Thoughts in my head are always racing. Nothing seems fun anymore and I no longer have any hobbies. I always tell mmyself that i'm worthless and that i'm never good enough. I don't have any friends that I hangout with or talk with. I socialize more with my dog than actual people. Whenever people do invite me to hangout, which is rare, it's exhausting and I feel like I have to fake being happy the whole time and I never enjoy myself, whether it is bowling or just going out for food. I always think that everyone secretly hates me and finds me repulsive. I've contemplated suicide but never attempted. I'm not close with any of my family members. I used to talk with my older sister but she moved away to New Jersey so i no longer have her to confide in I tried explaining to my mom and my sister how I feel but they don't listen and just say i'm being dramatic and ignore me. I'm just tired of being sad all the time. I've tried counseling, I went for half a year but it hasn't helped. I'd be as sad before the session as i'd be after. So after giving up counseling i gave up hope because it seemed like my life would always be this way. I really hate it. Everything feels numb to me. Like I don't feel anything. I dont know what to do or what next step to take. I feel like things are never going to improve.