When and Why?
Im Dylan. Im 15. Its been another year and here I am, still without a family. Why am I not good enough for someone to want and to care for? What have I done in my short 15 years that has left me with no real family? Its not fair. I want a family to call my own. I want a house to call home. I want more than anything in this world to have a FAMILY. is that so much to ask? I have felt low before, but on 1-1-16, I will be 16 years old. I should be excited to be 16, but instead Im here crying and wishing for things I may never get. I just want the love of a real family. It tears me apart more and more, day after day. I feel like no one will ever understand. Why didnt my parents want me? It hurts so bad to know no one wanted me in their lives. I just want accepted by someone. When will it be my turn? Probably never. I dont know why I even bother to wish for a family anymore. It obviously does me no good. I feel like this depression is never going to end. Having a real family and a real home may not solve the problem, but maybe it could help. I dont know what to do anymore. I really just feel like I would be better off giving up on everything, but what would that solve? Why me? Just, WHY?!
First of all, let me say I know where you're coming from. And second, it's not your fault, if anything it's theirs. But fault and blame are just ways to deflect your pain. You want to blame someone and direct your anger? Blame them. Blame doesn't help though. We have been hurt. And we need to get up, brush ourselves off and start a new day. And on that new day, I will be loved. If not by my parents, by myself. By my boyfriend. By my friends. I know these people can't be wrong about me. I trust them. They know I'm good and I know you're good. Find friends. Make them your family. I'm in college now and I have made this my home. I won't go back to them. I cut them off because they're toxic. Don't yearn for their poison, okay? They're not good people.
