i miss him so much.

this is my first time here, so... i think im kind nervous but ok, lets go. 2 years and 3 months, i lost a very important person in my life to suicide and its being so hard to me. in 2018, i cried every day and every night, in 2019, i think thats everything will be okay but i was wrong about it and now im here, crying a lot because a miss him so much.

i promise to him, at least, i will try to be fine, but is so hard to do this, its so hard live without a person that you love so much, mainly when you remember that the reason why this person died, is depression. i really just want to hug him and tell him i love you but i cant, its impossible and i hate me because i didnt do this before. please, if you love someone, express your feelings, hug this person.

i know that my negativity is something bad to me and to him but, when i think oh, maybe i can be fine now, right? something stops me, something tells me that is wrong be fine, something tells me that i need to remember the pain i have passed in that day, and, unfortunately, maybe i agree with that... even though i know that its a lie (depression do this sometimes, right? haha)

well, if my english is not so good, sorry about that, i hope that you understand my words. if you are reading this, thank you so much.