i realy need help

i'm tired and i hate mysel too much i m bisexual and i m in love with a straight girl we ve been close when her ex left her she did everything to have my heart and she succeed love words voice msg telling me that she love me but maybe in our town this is friend ship besides i had this feeling that she had something for me but she couldnt admit it and she didnt know it she was jealous of everyone who is close to me she did many things good prove and i felt in love with her then her ex came back in the begining she didnt chanhe but after a period she change a lot we had always fights because of me cause i m jealous and she dont care like she did she have an effect om me if we re fine my day is great if not my day is terrible i cant take her of my mind and i cant tell her of course because here in our town and our religion it s" haram" people always say what this why do u love her this we still talk after fight she came telling me that she misses me and stufs ! i m done i dont want to be bisexual i want be a normal girl i hate myself for loving girls ..