Abandoned and unsure of future

Welcome to my world where you are a mid-life crisis working a job that doesn't pay you nowhere near enough. You don't get any offers for better jobs because you are in debt and a shot credit score. You can barely pay your bills because you live with a parent that bleeds you dry every pay day. And to top it off, you have "friends" that don't bother to support you or reach out when you are in despair. I have contemplated suicide multiple times and to be honest I have no idea what keeps me going at this point. Maybe because I'm stubborn and hoping for some sign of hope. Anyway, just thought I get that out there.