Am I being selfish or am I allowed to feel this way?
I'm 19, asian, I live with my parents and younger brother. We live in a two bedroom flat. I have my own room and my mom and brother share and my father is an insomniac so he has a bed in the living room and sleeps whnever. I was diagosed with depression at the age of 15 and was put on antidepressants and couselling. I'm off the anti depressants but still continue with the counselling.
Today, after a year and a half I started crying over the smallest thing and I couldn't pinpoint if I was being selfish or not. I found out an uncle of mine was coming to stay which meant that my mum and brother would move in to my room for a month until he goes. I felt like my peace and safe haven was being taken away from me. My room is the only place that makes me feel like everything is going to be okay, its the only place where I feel like I can properly breathe in this whole house.
My depression stems from a lot of family problems i've witnessed and experienced as a child. SO after hearing how my uncle staying over meant that my mom and brother will have to move in and me crying so much over that just made me think am i being selfish? or am I allowed to feel like this....is this my depression and anxiety not wanting to let go of my room?
@Sarcasticballoffun
Of course you are allowed to feel this way! When I think of someone being selfish I think of someone not caring about others, putting themselves first and knowingly doing so - none of this seems to apply to you!
It makes total sense that you would not want to let go of your room. It sounds like it's a bit of a safe haven; feeling like everything is okay and a place of your own where you can breathe. I think if I was in your situation I would definately feel this way too.
The funny thing about depression is that sometimes it can make us feel selfish or even like we're burdening people, which is not true at all. If you can, try and acknowledge and validate all your feelings without judging them - there's nothing wrong with what you're feeling!
@romanticthi3f
Thank you so much. I actually feel a lot better after reading your post as I started feeling guilty. It is the only place where I feel like I can be myself. Thank you again 😊
It is completely understandable to be upset when your save haven feels like it's no longer going to be safe.
The fact that you were diagnosed with depression and feel anxiety can certainly exacerbate the feeling of loss and frustration over your privacy. Having depression does not in any way make you selfish, please remember that. You did not choose to be in a difficult place and you did not choose to have depression.
You probably feel that your reaction may be "much" in proportion to the severity of the situation, but I think that depression/anxiety can make things that usually wouldn't seem bad feel much worse. Your emotions are entirely real, even if you may think it is disproportionate. It will be tough but you can survive the month until your uncle goes. Best of luck.
You can feel however way you want,