A wonder and what life has ahead...
Hello, im Ryan, Im a 19 year old., male. Im one of the people who are always happy and always up for whatever(Just a little bit about my personality). I had gone through many huge issues in my life. One being I have been out casted by my family, including my parents, and all other relatives. I was not the one in the wrong in the situation, my parents have wronged me in a lot of ways and I chose to walk away, rather than solve the issue, because of how serious it was. 2 Months ago I moved to Florida with my girlfriend, and it is just me and her. I have noticed that all of her friends keep in touch with her, and yet none of mine back home seem to even bother sending me a text or a phone call to see how i am. Things between us have been very hard. She tells me I do not make her happy anymore. She tells me I am not fun. I think the main concern here is that I am not drinker, and I almost always refuse to drink. I like to go out and have a good time, but I do not need to be "messed" up to have a good time. I know I am depressed, because I can not seem to find that spark in my life anymore, I have no hopes, no dreams, nothing. I am not motivated, I am not interested, I am just gone. I used to be into everything. I used to wake up happy and go to bed happy, now I wake up down, and never go to bed because I have horrible thoughts running through me. I am not suicidal never have been never will be, but I just think that I am going to get no where in life and that I am hopeless. On the flip side, Im very smart, and I know I am capable of many things, I just do not know what my purpose is in life. I do not know what to live for, on top of everything I have no one. I do not know what is actually going through my mind, because consiously I am aware of the issues I have, I am aware of everything, but I still can not find happiness no matter where I go. My girl is the only person who makes me smile and makes me happy, and because of that I can not thank her enough. But Recently I feel as if I am losing her. She started having feelings for my roommate, and she confronted me as soon as she saw it becoming a problem. She has always been honest with me and has never lied about anything. She told me she started having feelings for him because we were not doing good. She then told me she wants to be with me not him. She just wishes she never met the guy at this point. I am very understanding so I am not mad at her, and I do not despise her, I love her to death, and losing her is the last thing on my mind. I really do not know if this information can help anyone to help me, but at least I gave it my best, Please help me, in any way. Whats going on with me, and what should I do? Thanks for reading this, sorry it jumps around, never was good at writing...
@Rhyno, thats got to be tough, with your family all pushing you away and on top of that your young age, then moving across the country. I have had quite a few bad things happen in my life too but my family hasnt pushed me away. My dad actually kept us away from the rest of our family mostly. I have lived all over the place growing up. I probably went to 15-20 schools growing up and that was with going to the same school all the way through in high school. With all of the bad things that happened to me, i was just like you , all the times smiling and happy. In the last year i have lost my mom and 2 aunts and found out a couple months ago a girl i really loved earlier in my life passed away 7 years ago. Until recently i havent smiled very much at all. I have actually cried more than smile. I dont know why but i guess it is all the stuff building up and just finally blowing. I dont really know what i can tell you to help you but to hang in there man. Its good your girlfriend doesnt lie to you. I would say "whats going on with you" is pretty understandable though for the situation youre in with your family , moving away from where youre used to ,and your young age. im sure anyone your age would feel the same way. I also think its a good thing youre not drinking. Turning to things like that is something a lot of people turn to to try and cope with a situation but in reality that will just make your problems worse.
