Bad depression after break up.

Ive just found out about this app and Im not sure if anyone will read this or relate, but thought Id give it a try and see if this will help. Ive gone through a break up that has put me through the worst depression of my life. While I was with this guy he was everything I ever wanted and had dreamed of. When we broke up he was a completely different person. Abusive mentally, emotionally, verbally. I never saw any of this coming. It took me a while to stop being sad, but once I did I feel he would sense it and pop back up again. I feel am addicted to the sadness. I am addicted to his sex. I think about him all day everyday still. We broke up in months ago but it drag on until November. I have now blocked him from everything. Did I make the right decision? I still love him. But he is purely toxic and so am I. I also have the inclination that he has a new gf but he still text me from a fake number to stay relevant. Someone please help.