Bad month
I want to die. None of my family members want me here. They always fight with me and get mad at me and I'm so tired of it. Not one person would give a shit if I was dead. I'm such a waste of space, time, and money. I'm never going to amount to anything in life. I'm not needed in the world. I don't know why God created me. I'm such a fuck up and I'm a giant mistake. I always do everything wrong and I just want it all to end
@Alone321, it was some time ago since you've written this post and I'm really sorry that you had no reply since then. But know , lovely, that you are not a mistake. You were overwhelmed with a lot of setbacks, with no support from your family and it's understandable that you feel so low and exhausted. But it's not your fault. It doesn't define you or the meaning of your existence - it's something only you have control over.
I wanted to ask you how have you been feeling lately? Have you reached out to a professional since you've written your post? You deserve the support, you deserve the recovery from the depression, lovely. Also know that you'll always have a place in this community, no matter how hopeless or disappointed in yourself you feel. We are here for you, we understand the pain of moving forward in the darkness.
*hugs*
And ust letting you know that I moved your thread from the daily check-ins category to the general threads within our sub-community.
Looking forward to hear from you again!
@Celaeno hi. Thank you for reaching out to me. There are only some days where I don't feel lonely and alone. The day you wrote this was the day I was in prom and it was such s shitty night. All of my closest friends had dates and were dancing and I was just alone and sad. I haven't gotten professional help because people don't really believe or know that I go through all of these feelings
@Alone321, glad to hear from you!
I understand the maelstrom of emotions, but I encourage you to reach out and get deserved help. Trust me, lovely - professionals absolutely WILL believe you. They won't judge you. Doctors are educated and therapists are trained to help people with depression. They have many tools to help you recover and you can choose the ones you want.
Depression is a real disorder and you don't (you should not even) accept it as a part of your life. You don't have to suffer, lovely, you deserve much better quality of life. I know that this is a hard decision - personally it took me years to start my own treatment - but recovery is worth it. Getting your emotions and thoughts back is totally worth it.
Sending my best wishes!
@Celaeno I'll try getting professional help but I don't want to give my family more problems to worry about. Thank you
@Alone321, I understand your position, because this is something which I'm also struggling. Still, to be completely honest, if they are worrying about you, this is something outside of your control. We can't save someone from their own thoughts and feelings. And people in our lives will almost always worry about us, because it's born from their love and affection towards us - just the same way like you want to protect them.
Know that you don't have to struggle with depression alone - moreover, you shouldn't do that. Let yourself be vulnerable and ask for help. Let people in your life help you. They care for you, so trust them. It will be much easier for you, and for them.
Hope you're doing a bit better. Sending my best wishes!
@Alone321 Definitely continue reaching out for help, you're not alone in this and it is possible to recover from it :) If things get tough, don't forget you can talk to any of us on here. Congrats on staying strong, you can stick through this!
@jovialRose99 thank you
I really feel sorry for you. I feel as though I do not have a mum. I thought that I was beating my depression but over gqthe last few days my mum has been snapping at me for no good reason. Today I just had to shut myself in the bathroom just to get away from her. I think that you are a strong person.
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Onsne of the problems I have with my mum is that she is self centred. She will not accept me for who I am eg she cannot accept the fact that I hate newcastle united. I want to decide which football team I support. I would never support a football team because they win trrophies. I just want to watch a good football match. Newcastle united are too denfenssive and this means they are not good to watch. My mum keeps saying that I must watch newcastle united. Yesterday afternoon she removed my laptop. I had to watch newcastle united. I am an adult. I can watch things on my laptop by using headphones. I would never make my mum watch something I wanted to watch.
